True confessions

I did something recently I'm not proud of. Whilst shopping for ingredients for dinner the other night, I impulse bought a can of spray cheese. Voila:

Kraft Easy Cheese comes out of the can in a thin ribbon and tastes like what cheese might taste like if you described it to a food scientist who'd never actually eaten cheese before and told him to make cheese. It's an idea of cheese, with a vaguely metallic aftertaste. It's awful.

Here are some cheese products better than Easy Cheese: individually wrapped American cheese slices, Velveeta, Cheez Whiz, a cheese log from Hickory Farms.

The color of Easy Cheese is not found in nature.

This one's for you, Easy Cheese.