Today's Power Rankings

Vuvuzela	▼	Is there any way we could add an annoying monotone drone to every televised sporting event?
Vuvuzela Twitter feed	▲	In the future, every phenomenon will have its own satirical Twitter feed
Gavin in Shanghai	▲	Bring me back a #23 and an order of green onion pancake
Vampires	▲♂	There has to be a "Lost Boys" remake in preproduction somewhere, right? I haven't checked, but it's gotta be happening, right?
World Cup officiating		Makes NBA refs look like…I don't know, really good refs or something
Sharron Angle	►☺	Put a little crazy in your Senate
New Bret Easton Ellis novel	▬	In other news, Bret Easton Ellis is still alive and writing novels, apparently
Treaty of Ghent	£▲	Still one of the best treaties
Lakers	▲	Kobe is the MVP. OF RAPING.
Watermelon	▲	The Miracle Food™
Oil spill	◙▼	BP has discovered an extraordinarily efficient way to move stuff that was inside the Earth to outside the Earth
Tagging the Buddha sculpture in Civic Center Plaza	▼	You people are assholes.
Jeremy London kidnapping	♣	Now me! Now me!

Today's Power Rankings

Sleigh Bells, “Treats”	▲◊	YOUR SUMMER JAM HAS ARRIVED. PLEASE PICK UP AT WINDOW 3.
Dinner tomorrow night at secret underground supper club	▲	“Includes unlimited wine”? You are playing a dangerous game, my friend
Bay to Breakers	▬	My 20th consecutive year of not participating in any way except to bitch about the helicopters at 7 am
Facebook	▼•	I knew I could sit this one out and join the next one
Giants hitters	▼▼ ▼◊	I’ve seen more punch in a fight between 2 toddlers
The couple that sprang their pit bull and then fled to Reno with their killing machine in tow	▲	The new face of white trash
SF Bay Guardian commenters	▲	The antimatter version of SFGate commenters
Oil spill	▬	It’s bad; on the other hand, getting a little tired of it.
Going to Chicago for Pitchfork Festival	▲	Oh great, another event at which I’ll be wildly inappropriately aged
Cupcakes and bacon	▼	Please go join ahi tuna towers and Asian fusion in the Room of Tired Food Trends
Carly Fiorina	▼	Endorsed by Sarah Palin! That’s big in California
Japanese tourists	▲	So cute