David Mamet is the coolest guy ever

David Mamet may have already been one of the coolest guys ever. I mean, he wrote "Glengarry Glen Ross," so if that doesn't put you in the Top 20 of Cool, I don't know what does. But now he's just gone and gotten even cooler. To wit:

Jeremy Piven will abruptly end his run in Broadway’s “Speed-the-Plow,” after missing Tuesday evening’s performance and a Wednesday matinee.

Piven has informed the producers that he hasn’t been feeling well and that the condition is attributable to a high mercury count.

The show’s producers weren’t returning calls, but Daily Variety reached out to David Mamet, who wrote the showbiz satire and seemed skeptical of the reasons for Piven’s departure.

High mercury count? WTF? So, what does Coolest Guy Ever have to say?

“I talked to Jeremy on the phone, and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury,” Mamet said. “So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.”

OH SNAP! You just got told, Jeremy Piven. Fuck yeah.