Please hold on. To my heart.

If you live in SF or NYC or some other city where a lot of people use Mass Transit, there are a certain number of sayings said in a certain way that are perpetually drilled into your brain from hearing them so many times.

The BART "The Doors. Are Closing. Please stand clear of the doors." voice is super-businesslike. Maybe even a little chilly? But somehow, paradoxically, also kind of warm.

BART: (It starts around :51):



Played in the movie by: Meryl Streep.

SF Muni has gone with a crazy male-female couple. She's all "Please hold on" and then he's all "Please exit through the rear doors." I like to imagine them in a zany romcom and she's pissed because he's stepping on her lines.

MUNI:



Played in the movie by: Kate Hudson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

But these Bay Areans have got nothing on the New York MTA. If you've ever ridden a subway in New York City, you know the "Stand clear of the closing doors please" guy.

NYMTA:



That cadence! That rising and falling pitch! That slightly unhinged, happy-but-maybe-I'm-crazy-not-happy tone. It's got it all.

Played in the movie by: Lithgow, who else?

One frequently overlooked (and tragically so, I might add) voice is the SFO Airport Train Lady. She is cool and exotic, and doesn't just want you to hold on. She also wants you to set your luggage cart brakes to on.

SFO:



She may work the SFO Airport, but her soul will always be in Paris. Bon soir, mon amour!

Played in the movie by: Audrey Tatou.

[UNRELATED PROGRAMMING NOTE: Yes, I know "The Bachelorette" returns tonight and against my better judgment, I will be recapping again this season. See you tomorrow for that.]