Area resident gives nutshell review of one of our two local daily newspapers

I was out walking the dog yesterday afternoon (beautiful day, no? Until around 6:30 when it suddenly became very, very cold) when, to my surprise and dismay, the dog crapped for the second time. I only brought one poop bag because my dog is generally a reliable One Time Only shitter but this time he was all "Fuck it, it's nice out, I'm gonna drop another as long as we're out and about."

ANYWAY, I didn't have another bag or anything and it is totally uncool to leave dog shit on the sidewalk (or anywhere else, for that matter) so I was sort of looking around for something to pick it up with when a Fellow Dog Owner came strolling by with his dog.

"Excuse me," I said. "You wouldn't happen to have another poop bag on you, would you?"

He was happy to oblige. "Yeah, absolutely," he said, pulling out Said Bag and handing it to me. "She surprised me one time too many," he continued, nodding at his dog,"so I started taking extras. Before that, I'd get caught and have to look around for an Examiner."

"Monarch of the Dailies," indeed.