Top 5 Things The Wife and I Say to Each Other While Watching Top Chef (Any Iteration)

1. "That guy is such a prick."

2. "Bourdain sure likes himself, doesn't he?"

3. "I would eat the shit out of that."

4. "That looks disgusting."

5. "Oh, Gail. Poor Gail."

So now we have "Top Chef All-Stars," which isn't really All-Stars because none of the actual winners of past seasons are on, just contestants who did well and didn't win. I guess "Top Chef All-Stars" sounds better than "Top Chef Runners-Up." Whatever, I'll watch it. Every season now I think "I've had it with Top Chef, I'm not watching this season," and as soon as I see the first Quickfire Challenge I'm hooked.

Plus, The Wife has a thing for Colicchio (who is known, colloquially, in our house as "Coleek").

(But in all seriousness, we ate at his place Craft in NYC and I shit you not, it was one of the best meals I've ever had. Don't even get me started on the little individual copper kettles of potato gratin.)

(Oh, that brings up the time that I missed my chance to introduce myself to Dave Matthews. He was eating at Craft at the same time we were and then we went outside at the same time and I was waiting for The Wife, who was inside going to the restroom or something and Dave Matthews was talking to his manager or lackey or whatever the guy was and asked him for a cigarette and the flunky didn't have one and I happened to have a whole pack and I was thinking "Man, I should offer Dave Matthews a cigarette" but I didn't and so he didn't get cancer and continues to inflict his "music" on dopey fratboys everywhere.)

Plus, since "Sons of Anarchy" ended I needed to pick up a new show anyway.