Parade of horribles

How's your week going? I've had better ones. Here's what's happened to me so far:

- On Monday, I was checking my bank balance online and noticed that somebody had charged $100 on Playstation.net. Humorously, the first thought that occurred to me was "Did I start playing Playstation online when I was drunk?" I didn't have any memory of this and my ancient PS2 isn't hooked up anyway, so that seemed unlikely. The Wife also denied that she had developed a sudden interest in playing Call of Duty 4 with a little headset on against an 11-year-old in Omaha, so I called Wells Fargo. To their immense credit, their fraud unit called me back the next day and they credited the money back to my account in 2 days. Say what you will about Monster Banks, that's some good customer service.

One funny aside: The lady from the fraud unit asked me if I would be filing a police report and I started laughing and then she started laughing too because, really, if it takes a week for the SFPD to find the body of a murder victim in their own damn impound yard, what are the odds they're going to track down the kid who used my card to buy some online gaming?

- I seem to be developing a noticeable red blemish on my upper lip. Again, The Wife denied transmitting herpes simplex 1 to me, so I have to assume it's just another fucking zit. Here's a News Flash for my Younger Readers: you can keep getting zits your whole life, as far as I can tell. Remember when they told you it would stop around the end of puberty? Bullshit.

- Yesterday I was walking by my car and noticed that my left rear taillight was shattered. Of course, the driver who hit me was kind enough to leave a note. OF COURSE I'M FUCKING KIDDING, WHO WOULD LEAVE A FUCKING NOTE??!?!! I guess I should be glad they didn't wipe out my whole rear end.

- My boss is quitting, which means I have to teach some new doofus how to do things the way I like, i.e., to leave me alone until I need something.

But it's OK! I'm off to Chicago tomorrow for the Pitchfork Music Festival. I know, I know, it's going to be the largest collection of hipsters in one place except for Williamsburg on any given day. That's OK! I'm more worried about the intense, blazing heat that I'm completely unprepared for, being from San Francisco. 95 degrees! What does that even feel like?

I might post from there. Could be a hoot. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.