WARNING: Spoilers inside

So I recently happened to learn what the SHOCKING TWIST ENDING of "Orphan" is, and while I'm not going to reveal it here, I will be happy to assure you that it is the most retarded surprise twist in the history of American film. It is so, so stupid that I expect people will be walking out of theaters going "That was fucking retarded" but maybe not because most people who would go see it are retarded too.

ANYWAY this reminds me of a brief anecdote. I was talking to The Wife about "No Way Out," the Kevin Costner/Sean Young-before-she-went-batshit-crazy thriller, which, as you may know, has a shocking twist ending, and I just assumed that she had seen it, so I offhandedly said, "You know, ______ ______ is the _______ _______!" and then chuckled a little expecting her to roll her eyes and say "Yeah, duh, everyone knows that," but instead she got REAL MAD and yelled at me because, as it turns out, heh heh, she had not yet in fact seen No Way Out. And now there's really no point in seeing it once you know that Blank Blank is the Blank Blank.

And the chick in "The Crying Game" is a dude.