My skillset includes swimming and eating people

Shark attacks drop; recession blamed

Jesus, you know shit is tough out there when a fucking shark can't even get a job.

Happy Friday, everyone!

- SO. We have a budget. The ridiculous thing about this is that everybody knew, all along, that we were going to have to raise taxes. It was a foregone conclusion. But we had to drag this shit out for months waiting for one Republican to finally cave. What a way to run a state.

- Who's the best player in the NFL? Peyton Manning? Adrian Peterson? Judging strictly by paycheck, it's Nnamdi Asomugha, who the Raiders made the highest-paid player in the league yesterday. Oh, Raiders.


- Super Hot Irish Girlfriend returns from the wilds of Louisiana today and goes immediately to a weekend-long gig babysitting for some friends, or, as I like to call it, the Baby Desire Enhancement Program. Srsly, though, the kid is pretty cute. Funny story - SHIG was out with the kid at the park, pushing her in a swing, and a Young Mom smiled and asked, "How old is she?" SHIG said, "Uh, nine, ten months, something like that." Young Mom nervously edged away from SHIG, the Worst Mommy Ever.


Have a good weekend!