Thursday, February 26, 2009
Just take the salad and be done with it
We got here last night in the company of The Sister and proceeded to dinner at a restaurant where we were served by an oddly intrusive waiter hell-bent on making the ordering process as complicated as possible. Seriously, it took like 10 minutes to order dinner, like so:
Dad: "I'll have the salmon."
Overly Intrusive Waiter: "What kind of salad? House salad or caesar?"
Dad: "No salad, thanks."
OIW: "Hmmm, OK, why don't I get you the salmon club then, since you're not having salad? It's cheaper."
Dad: "OK. That's fine then."
Me: "Dad, that's a sandwich."
Dad: "I don't want a sandwich."
OIW: "I'm just trying to help out because it's cheaper."
Dad: "I don't want a sandwich."
OIW: "But you're not having a salad!"
Dad: "Can I just get the dinner without the salad?"
OIW: "OK. Whatever you say."
And so on. Now repeat that for 5 different people and you can see why this was so excruciating.
ANYWAY, off to the wine store now to see what kind of group discount we can negotiate. We'd be able to work out a big discount with an unnamed online wine merchant, since The Sister knows someone who works there, but Tennessee is one of those states with byzantine alcohol laws that include a complete ban on the retail shipping of wine into the state. And you can't buy beer on Sunday, I think. Or maybe Sunday before noon. Or something like that.
Monday, February 23, 2009
And then things got weird
So the act who was playing when we got there was this - ummm, how to describe, how to describe - folk-rap trio with a rapper/singer who looked like a soccer hooligan and whose lyrics mostly concerned his sexual prowess. I wish I could adequately convey this to you, but I don't think it's possible. I will say that he rhymed "ho" and "Santana Row."
I went upstairs after a while to get another beer and - what's this now? - there's a guy up there wearing a fez playing classical music on an electric piano. Did I miss the notice that a David Lynch movie was being filmed here? There were about 10 people watching him, including a girl with a fuzzy Burning Man hat and some oddly younger people who watched with rapt attention. Two guys at the bar were talking and Fuzzy Hat shushed them. Now, I hate it when people talk loudly at shows just as much as the next guy, but lady, it's a bar, not Symphony Hall. I don't know what the bar ownership is thinking, but being shushed by a fashion victim for trying to have a conversation while Fez Guy plays Pachelbel doesn't scream "fun night out."
So I went back downstairs and the next time I came upstairs to the bar the fez classical piano guy was gone, now replaced by three guys doing Grateful Dead covers on acoustic guitar and bongos. At this point, I wasn't even a little surprised.
We played our set downstairs and it was fine and we got a good response. But really, how do you compete against that?
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sometimes life really is like a Wes Anderson movie
While in Jedda Yvonne greatly enjoyed the hunting and fishing camping trips her husband organized, and took up an interest in snorkeling along the spectacular coral reefs of the Red Sea and collecting sea shells. On one of these trips she was attacked and nearly drowned by a moray eel, resulting in an injury to her right hand which ended her piano playing.
Awesome. I love the obits.
Friday, February 20, 2009
My skillset includes swimming and eating people
Jesus, you know shit is tough out there when a fucking shark can't even get a job.
Happy Friday, everyone!
- SO. We have a budget. The ridiculous thing about this is that everybody knew, all along, that we were going to have to raise taxes. It was a foregone conclusion. But we had to drag this shit out for months waiting for one Republican to finally cave. What a way to run a state.
- Who's the best player in the NFL? Peyton Manning? Adrian Peterson? Judging strictly by paycheck, it's Nnamdi Asomugha, who the Raiders made the highest-paid player in the league yesterday. Oh, Raiders.
- Super Hot Irish Girlfriend returns from the wilds of Louisiana today and goes immediately to a weekend-long gig babysitting for some friends, or, as I like to call it, the Baby Desire Enhancement Program. Srsly, though, the kid is pretty cute. Funny story - SHIG was out with the kid at the park, pushing her in a swing, and a Young Mom smiled and asked, "How old is she?" SHIG said, "Uh, nine, ten months, something like that." Young Mom nervously edged away from SHIG, the Worst Mommy Ever.
Have a good weekend!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
She left the cat in charge
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1n4XQc5p7jkMHLl4w6YzudpVjlethmJt09krrvKe5w4L9uU-zvTIyoBzSuOOsxxKmoVfHCXZyIYQO1LJAtTQs8LwpuRuMalpCLJprqrsMtRs9VbZW8BHt6oJh4T6qD43RMq4GYO-AieU/s200/kylechandler.jpg)
Monday, February 16, 2009
Pass me the Punt e mes
This is what a chihuahua-terrier mix coming at you at about 40 mph looks like:
Anyway, a good way to make up for a mistake like that is an expensive meal, and boy, we sure had one at Farina in the Mission. The food was good and the service was great and everything but it is absurdly overpriced. Like $22 for some pasta with pesto sauce. Like dot-com overpriced. I enjoyed it enough, but I would never go back.
One good thing came out of it - I discovered an unbelievably good cocktail. It had Hangar One kaffir lime vodka, an Italian sweet vermouth called Punt e mes, pineapple juice, and maybe something else. I'm contemplating sinking the $50 into all the speciality liquors this will require to make at home because I want one EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
One other funny story from the weekend. Last night at Bloodhound I ran into this couple I'd met there the last time. I was talking to the guy and I realized he was wearing a t-shirt from Dolan's Pub in Limerick, where SHIG grew up. As it turns out, his brother had studied in Ireland and they had hung out in Limerick. Small world, huh? Well, I didn't say it was a hilarious story. Oh, never mind.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
They grow up so fast
Yes, the little 8-year-old looking kid on the left is the FATHER of the baby he's holding. Jesus Christ. Well, I guess, to look on the bright side, he might be the first Dad in history to beat his son at any Xbox game.
Oh, and from the Not That Fucking Surprising Dept.: Octomom is much, much crazier than we suspected. Like writing creepy letters to Angelina Jolie crazy. Like maybe having plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie crazy. I'm torn, because on the one hand, I think chicks should do whatever they can to look more like Angelina Jolie and oh for the love of Christ, I'm joking, okay?
Happy Friday, everyone! For the second consecutive year in a row, Super Hot Irish Girlfriend and I will actually be going out to eat on Valentine's Day. I know, suicidal, right? You'd think, but last year it was actually a lot of fun. We'll see how it is this year.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The funny thing is, the list of symptoms describes pretty much everyone in SF
I get this feeling because sometimes I fail at small talk and I can't figure out if I'm missing some obvious social clues or if the other person is just retarded. Case in point: I'm in the kitchen at work, filling up my water bottles (because I drink like 2 liters of water a day at work, but don't try to make this into some kind of Aspergy thing because I just like to drink water, it's not like I have to drink exactly 2 liters a day or something) and a Coworker #1 comes in and examines the empty coffee pot. The following exchange occurs:
Coworker #1: [Coworker #2] is just so clean, isn't she?
(OK, my mind goes into high gear, trying to figure out exactly WTF this could possibly mean. Did Coworker #2 smell bad today and I just didn't pick up on it and Coworker #1 is dissing her with sarcasm? I don't think so. Think, TK, think, goddamit!)
TK: What do you mean?
(Nice save!)
Coworker #1: [Beaming like a child or something] She washed the coffee pot already!
So I want to know - should I have been able to decipher this ahead of time? How the fuck do I know that Coworker #2 cleaned the coffee pot? I mean, what kind of reaction was Coworker #1 expecting?
In other news, today was one of those days when basically every story in the newspaper made me ANGRY. Like Taxpayers may bear cost of raising octuplets and Judges accused of jailing juveniles for cash and Mandy Moore's getting married to Ryan Adams. OK, the last one didn't make me "mad," I guess, but it provoked some kind of upsetting reaction that I haven't yet figured out.
Back to the woman with the Golden Retriever-like litter of children: There's nothing more I can say that hasn't been said, and all the outrage has been pretty much completely justified in my view and I can't think of any rational defense for anyone having 14 children, much less a single mom, but I just have to say that I love, love, love the term "Octomom." OCTOMOM!
You should listen to this
That's right. An overeducated white man listening to the podcast of "This American Life" on his iPod while taking mass transit to work in San Francisco. I AM YOUR WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE, RUSH LIMBAUGH.
ANYWAY. They're all good, but I have to say that last week's show, entitled "The Ghost of Bobby Dunbar" was so good and thought-provoking and incredible that it could be turned into a movie without any major changes. IN FACT, the story (which is true) bears some resemblance to "The Changeling," another true story, in that they both involve boys who go missing and the boys who then turn up might not be the same boys who went missing.
I don't want to get into the whole plot, but it really is an amazing story and the voices! The Voices that tell the story are mostly Mississippi ladies of a certain age and their accents alone will kill you. They're awesome. You can download it at the link above for free for the next few days. Do it. You won't regret it. Plus, I want to talk to somebody about it.
What's the other thing I was thinking about? Oh yeah, pitchers and catchers report in 3 days. Baseball is almost upon us again! Huzzah.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Exploding salad, rotting seal, movies ending in "ess"
After that we headed out to eat at Orson, which was interesting, I guess, but maybe a little over my head. The food is sort of intentionally complicated and imaginative, which I think is just great but maybe might be better appreciated by someone else. Like, if your server (androgynous mid-20's Asian, natch) has to explain to you how to eat your Caesar salad, maybe you're in for more than you bargained for. She explained that the salad itself contained flavorless Pop Rocks, and so what you were supposed to do was get a bite and then swirl it in one of the dressing medallions and then it would all explode in my mouth. I didn't get any explosions in my mouth, which is just as well by me.
For her appetizer, SHIG had a poached egg over oxtail, which was interesting, and then she had the scallops, which were far and away the best part of either of our dinners, perfectly cooked and delicious. I would say I'm glad I tried Orson but I can't see myself going back.
After dinner, we headed up to North Beach to meet some friends at Tosca, which, as you know, is one of my favorite places and had some drinks there and then we left because I wanted to check out Church Key, a new place that just opened on Grant. Interesting, extensive beer menu, but holy shit everyone in there was young. Like fetus-young. Also, guys, I can see wearing a backwards baseball cap to a sports bar, but please, can you at least try to class it up a little when you go out somewhere else? Lame.
Yesterday we took Leland out to Ocean Beach to let him run around. It was fucking freezing out there but he had a blast. "Hey, rotting seal carcass! SWEET! Let me just rub my head and neck into it. Oh, man, that is some good shit."
Yesterday afternoon we gave Leland a bath.
One final note: we capped off the weekend by watching two movies that were both boring in their own way, The Wackness and The Duchess. In one of them, Ben Kingsley spouts improbable dialogue and in one Ralph Fiennes rapes Kiera Knightley. I briefly feel asleep during both of them.
Friday, February 6, 2009
What I saw at the Bay Bridged birthday party
Happy Friday, everyone!
Last night after band practice Stoney and I walked over to Rickshaw Stop (warning: faux-Geocities website) for the The Bay Bridged's 3rd Anniversary party. For those of you not in the know, The Bay Bridged is a website covering local music that also puts out a regular kickass podcast concerning same. Now, if I could just get them to cover my band we'd quickly become a big deal and Pitchfork would accuse us of selling out. Sweet.
ANYWAY, they got a great crowd out, even on a semi-shitty night, and, Madre de Dios, it wasn't all hipsters which kinda surprised and pleased me. The excessive use of a smoke machine to make the interior of the club hearken back to Ye Olde Days when you could actually smoke somewhere did not.
First up we had Geographer, with the rarely-seen guitar/keys/sampler, electric cello, drums lineup. I liked it! Definite indie-pop undertones, which always grabs me, and definitely interesting instrumentation. I think more bands should use cello, too.
Then Birds and Batteries. I really liked their first few songs, which I guess you could describe as art-blues maybe, if that didn't sound totally grad school pretentious, but then things took a turn for the Zappa and that's when I kind of lose interest. I'm still gonna check out their record, though.
I missed The Heavenly States because after B&B it was 10:45 and I had to go home because I'm old and I had to work today. Wah.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Book release party
Bonus points if you can figure out who I am. Hint: I don't look 40.
What else is going on? I've been busy. I see that the American Apparel debate continues to rage on over at SFist and other blogs and, whatever side you're on, God bless you for giving a shit, since most people don't.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Most of this post is about booze and drugs
- How about that Super Bowl? I believe I said "Steelers by 3 in a surprisingly low-scoring game." As it turns out, it was Steelers by 4, and 27-23 might not be "surprisingly low-scoring," but I'd say I got the gist of it right.
Anyway, you really couldn't ask for a better game.
- From yesterday's Chron: "Popchips' marketer's swell spots to hang." "Russell Barnett, the vice president of marketing for the San Francisco snack company Popchips, tells us about his favorite places to schmooze clients, watch the sunset and blow off some steam."
I didn't know Popchips was an SF company! Even more reason to love Popchips. However, one of Russell's fave spots is the execrable Redwood Room, a little slice of what everyone hates about LA right in the heart of SF. Why, Russell, why?
"This is a must for drinks with friends and colleagues. It's classic San Francisco with a modern twist. Even locals need to sit in the Big Chair in the lobby. They just celebrated their 75th anniversary, and the best part is it has changed very little. They make a mean martini and offer delicious appetizers from Asia de Cuba - the tuna poke and lobster pot stickers are not to be missed. Out-of-town guests love the old-school vibe."What in the fuck are you talking about? It has "changed very little?" It's not even remotely the same place any more. It used to be kind of a classic, if a little well-worn, SF hotel bar. Now it's a sceney nightmare where hookers, bridge-and-tunnel screech girls, and striped-shirt chest bumpers converge to buy $12 cocktails and try to impress each other. It's NOTHING like it used to be. As if you needed any other clue, your tipoff would be those old classics from 1934, tuna poke and lobster pot stickers.
Stick to puffed potato products, Rusty.
- Speaking of bars, we checked out Bloodhound, a new place on Folsom between 7th and 8th, Saturday night. I like it a lot. Same owners as Double Dutch, but don't let that scare you off. Bloodhound is definitely more of a grown-up bar. There's sort of a rustic vibe, with a reclaimed barn wood interior. Nice, eclectic crowd. Will do business again.
Oh, while we're there, Tom, on drinking: "I'm not an alcoholic. I just really like booze." You tell it, brother.
- So Michael Phelps smokes the pot. Now comes the utterly predictable and ridiculous public apology and shaming and "I'll never do it again wah wah wah."
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