The SFGate comments section: where crazy comes to play

If you're like me (and by that, I mean you enjoy the bizarre, incomprehensible rantings of the criminally insane), you love the Comments on SFGate. A little backstory , in case you haven't had the pleasure: a few months ago, SFGate started providing a space for anyone to post comments on every story they post on the site. Now, I'm not trying to brag or anything, but San Francisco is chock full of urbane, witty, intelligent folks, so the comments section of SFGate would naturally be replete with choice bon mots and trenchant obervations on the stories, right?

Wrong. The comments section of SFGate - which, again, I love - is an absolute sinkhole of human misery and depravity. It's like taking look into the reptilian brain of the Bay Area, and it's scary and wonderful.

Let's see an example. Last week, there was a story on SFGate entitled "If Prop. 8 passes, what about those who wed?" about whether same-sex couples who got married before the election would still be married after Prop. 8 took effect. However you feel about this emotionally-charged issue, put it aside for a second, because that's not why we're here.

There were 727 comments on the story. That's a lot, even by SFGate standards. Many people weighed in with their views on same sex marriage, both pro and con. And then there's this:

Entire country can be an ACORN housing project. If Iran attacks Israel, then a community organizer can provide homes for Iranians in an ACORN housing project. If Russia attacks the United States, then a community organizer can provide homes for Russians in an ACORN housing project. If terrorists attack the United States, then a community organizer can provide homes for terrorists in an ACORN housing project. If North Korea develops nuclear weapons, then a community organizer can provide homes for North Koreans in an ACORN housing project. If an illegal immigrant kills a father and his two sons in San Francisco, then a community organizer can provide homes for illegal immigrants in an ACORN housing project.

Ummm...OK then! Not sure what "ACORN housing projects" have to do with same-sex marriage, but I'm sure the voices buzzing in your meth-addled brain made the correlation.

Here's a tragic story, "CHP: Speed likely factor in students' crash," about a tragic accident in which three Stanford grad students in a Jeep Cherokee went off the road on Highway 1 and died. Now, most people would extend sympathetic thoughts and prayers for the families, right? Not your SFGate commenters!

who speeds in a jeep cherokee? physics anyone? now the next time i am going 3 miles over the speed limit some self righteous cop straight out of the military with no chances of getting any other job is going to use this story to drive home some constructed preachy story about going slow and obeyng the blah blah blahing. your life was fine stanford fools, what a pontless waste of your parents' monies.

You're not only dead! You're stupid! And now cops are going to pull me over because you're dead and stupid!

I'm not even going to get into SFGate commenters' strange fascination with prison rape, but suffice it to say that any story that is tangentially related to the criminal justice system inevitably brings comments about the despicable acts the defendant will be subjected to while incarcerated. It's beyond weird.

Don't go changing, SFGate commenters! You make me feel a little more sane every day.